"Not-Hell"

When you think of heaven, what do you picture in your head?  I'm not asking you a religious question.  I'm asking you a question about what your "ideal" is.  When I imagine that perfect moment, I see all my family and friends hanging out together, I've got a relaxed buzz like after knocking back a bottle of beer, and everybody is in that mood where a smile or laugh comes as naturally as breathing.  There's a light,cool breeze blowing through your hair and as you kick back in your chair or toss a bean bag into the air, you realize simultaneously how much fun you are having and that the party isn't even close to over.  That feeling right there is perfection to me.  The funny thing is that we all have these ideals in our heads and we all, whether we consciously know it or not, are trying to get to that place whatever that place is for each of us.  When I was younger, when I was making the choice to become a doctor, there was a part of me that made that choice because I thought it would be a sure route to that "sweet spot".  While there were more reasons than just one, one of my reasons was the following:

If I'm a doctor, then I will make money, I will retire early, and I'll get to spend lots of time with my family and friends.

Currently I am coming to one of two conclusions.  I was WAY wrong...or the more probable you have to go through hell to get to heaven.

I've been relieved of the fantasy that I will make a lot of money or that I will retire early, but as I've matured I've learned that I can totally live with that.  What I'd like when I'm done with all this is a job that I, at least, like and enough free time that I can occasionally take a couple of free breaths around my family and friends.  Even if it's not quite my "heaven", I'm willing at this point to settle for "not-hell". ; P

Newbie Doc