So at this point tonight I've already had two deliveries which were pretty much cake, both requiring very little from me. I'm a little less solo than I thought, turns out there is a nurse practitioner that stays here with me, she watched me like a hawk as I was running the last two, at the last one she told me, "Ok the next one is all you.", meaning she would only come if called...that made me nervous, so much so that after much tossing and turning I finally got to sleep...for like 5 minutes.
I heard my pager go off.
Suddenly I was fully awake. I jumped out of bed, through my shirt on, laced up my shoes, and jogged down to the delivery room...where there was nothing going on. I checked my pagers...was I dreaming? I still don't know, but the HUC (head unit coordinator) thinks I was cause they havn't heard of any babies being born. This often happens to me where I think I'm not nervous, say I'm not nervous, and for the most part act like I'm not...right up until the point when I imagine pages and jump at the slightest pager like noise.
Newbie Doc
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Night Owl
Today I find myself back in a NICU again, and today I experienced the same uncomfortable morning that I've come to expect when starting a new rotation, the feeling that you are in over your head. Admittedly, it's not as bad since I have worked in the NICU once before, but it was a different NICU...which is like going to a different country and practicing medicine; sure both countries have similar forms of medicine (it's unavoidable because a human is a human is a human) but the protocols, guidelines, computer systems, and bureaucratics are completely alien to a newcomer.
Another oddity of this NICU, which is particularly immigrant heavy, is that it currently is very quiet. There are several theories to the cause of this, as NICUs are normally very busy, but the main two is that a lot of surrounding hospitals have opened level 1 and 2 NICUs of their own, stealing my patient population; the other theory involves certain legislation passed this year which is allegedly scaring away my "illegal" patients. So I find myself on call, sitting, waiting for something to happen with a slight undercurrent of anxiety running through my brain.
While my patient load and patient complexity are likely to be lower than the previous NICU, I am at the same time, burdened by the fact that my attendings, at the end of the day, go home, leaving me to fend for myself. If a child comes in overnight (which will eventually happen), it's me and only me delivering it. Those infrequent nights (at the other NICU) of an attending not making it to the delivery room in time (leaving me to do it by myself) will likely become buisness as usual here. I've heard previous interns who work here tell horror stories of having to run codes on kids by themselves. I suppose at some point the little night owl gets kicked off his branch and must learn how to fly solo, but that doesn't mean I have to look forward to it. Right now I'm standing on the branch, staring down at all the places I could go, and thinking about all the things that could happen...I'm hoping that when I do fly solo (be it tonight or some other dark night in the future) the weather will be clear, the luck will be abundant, and the ground will be soft : P.
Newbie Doc
Another oddity of this NICU, which is particularly immigrant heavy, is that it currently is very quiet. There are several theories to the cause of this, as NICUs are normally very busy, but the main two is that a lot of surrounding hospitals have opened level 1 and 2 NICUs of their own, stealing my patient population; the other theory involves certain legislation passed this year which is allegedly scaring away my "illegal" patients. So I find myself on call, sitting, waiting for something to happen with a slight undercurrent of anxiety running through my brain.
While my patient load and patient complexity are likely to be lower than the previous NICU, I am at the same time, burdened by the fact that my attendings, at the end of the day, go home, leaving me to fend for myself. If a child comes in overnight (which will eventually happen), it's me and only me delivering it. Those infrequent nights (at the other NICU) of an attending not making it to the delivery room in time (leaving me to do it by myself) will likely become buisness as usual here. I've heard previous interns who work here tell horror stories of having to run codes on kids by themselves. I suppose at some point the little night owl gets kicked off his branch and must learn how to fly solo, but that doesn't mean I have to look forward to it. Right now I'm standing on the branch, staring down at all the places I could go, and thinking about all the things that could happen...I'm hoping that when I do fly solo (be it tonight or some other dark night in the future) the weather will be clear, the luck will be abundant, and the ground will be soft : P.
Newbie Doc
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