I'm on heme onc right now. I've seen a lot of patients since I've been on. I admitted one at the very beginning that's gonna stick with me. He's 20 years old, he reminds me a lot of my younger brother. During the short time I was his doctor we became good friends. He's a funny guy, he has a lot of good friends, doesn't take things very seriously...not even his leukemia...well not as serious as most, while I was admitting him we joked about all the stupid questions I had to ask him. In between questions we'd toss back and forth jokes and discuss movies and games. We talked about how he was enjoying the good college life, how he was having too much fun, how he was going to get his life together and two weeks into that plan, he's diagnosed with a death sentence. He's going to die from this.
Leukemia is a scary thing, just the word has broken men far stronger than me and I've watched in horror as it happened, covering my terror with my mask. That being said, it's something we've gotten more and more proficient at beating...did you know that a child diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia (the most common type) has an 85% chance of cure in this age. I think that's wild, it's amazing that we can beat it that well...but my patient has too many risk factors, he's too old, he's got the wrong genetic markers, and the disease didn't behave "normally" when it first presented.
That being said, I know he's been briefed as to what his prognosis is, that he and I both know that his chances of survival are very small. I know that when I discharged him today, in all likelihood we were saying one of those "real goodbyes" it was in the back of my mind as I shook his hand and wished him luck.
I don't know what to take from this..."Party it up, life is short?"..."Cherish what you have?"...I don't know what to think...I don't have any wise things to take from this. A friend is dyeing and in a way to me, because of what I know (that there is little hope), he is already dead.
Newbie-Doc
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