I'm filling out a mountain of paperwork for credentialling in the state where I will work once I graduate residency. It's all about what I've done, who I've been for the last 11 years of my life. When I review the documents it's like a detailed account of a very long journey or mountain I've climbed. Next to my years in medical school it simply says the words, "completed"...not even capitalized. It doesn't talk about the swings in my life that have happened because of it all. It doesn't talk about who I've become or what I was, other than I was able to jump through said "hoop". All of the things that I struggled with, triumphed over, failed at, and worked so hard for seems so perfunctory when I look at this list, like it was just expected to occur, in the moment that certainty is so much harder to find. When you watch someone "clutch" intubate someone while they are crashing, you don't see that skill as a check box...yet one day if you were to take my path, you'll find yourself checking it off. This job can be so duplicitous.
Newbie Doc
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