The Offer

When you do what I do and commit large amounts of your time to something where the reward is far off, you start to wonder if it’s worth it. I’m almost there and so the reward feels much closer, but the sacrifice starts to feel a lot larger too. As you go along, you start to see the trouble it’s caused in your relationships, you start to realize that the time you so easily gave up with your loved ones, you can’t get back. In the back of my mind, I have a fear that I’ll get hit by a car or die suddenly, all of my work and sacrifice suddenly for not, or that I'll lose another loved one and feel the lost time even more. I had an acquaintance in medical school that went off to residency up north, she tried driving after an all-night stint and was killed in the resultant car accident. When I heard that, I was horrified, not only at her death but at the massive unfairness of it. I wonder if she knew about her impending death, would she still do it? Would she still use up these years of her life, in the cocoon waiting to emerge?


Imagine some mysterious man came up to you and made this offer, “If you will disappear for 7 years of your life starting now, when you reappear you’ll gain instant prestige and respect, you’ll be 100 times over wiser than you are now, you’ll be paid well for a job that you would do for free, and everyday you’ll make a huge difference in people’s lives, sometimes even in those of your family and friends. You’ll be so much more than you are now. But for those years you give me, you will be mine, you will be tested in punishing and sometimes horrible ways and you’ll lose some of your friends and family along the way. When you awake you’ll be greatly changed and the world you knew will be in large gone, for better or worse, you will never get that time back or the relationships I will take during your 7 year slumber. ” It sounds mystical, but it’s not far off from the truth of it.

When you are young it’s so easy to sacrifice your future, you have so much of it. You feel as if you will live forever. Now looking back, it should have been a much bigger decision. It’s a gamble, I might die tomorrow…was it worth it? I don’t know…I think it has been thus far, but who knows what the future holds. Would you take that man up on his offer?

Newbie Doc